Being Alone and Being Happy Can Go Hand in Hand
You will find that being alone and being happy at the same time is possible; in fact, being happy alone is really the key to life. If you can learn to be happy all by yourself anywhere, you are, and at any time well, you win.
By 1 Vibrant Life editorial group / June, 29 2019
A Therapist’s Perspective on being alone and being happy…
If you watch too many movies, then it’s easy to believe the fallacy that happiness is a direct result of finding true love.
Whilst friendship, companionship, and connection help to enrich our lives, it’s also possible to find serenity and contentment without others. Finding ways to be comfortable and at ease with our own company can bring deep satisfaction and happiness.
Many clients seek therapy to better understand who they are, and to feel at ease with themselves. Such introspection and increased awareness often facilitate personal growth and inner happiness.
This blog explores how you can escape the prison of believing you can only be happy when you are with another. Being alone and being happy can go hand-in-hand.
“No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.”
Being Alone and Being Happy
You can be happy while being alone.
Sure, we all have hard days and nights. But when your happiness, peace, and contentment don’t rely on other people or other “things,” you win. Right?
- Being alone does not necessarily equal sadness
- The Importance of Self-Sufficiency
- Asking yourself for advice
- Practicing Self-Love
- Staying Healthy & Happy
“The Number of single-person households in the U.S. from 1960 to 2018 (in millions) “In 2018, approximately 35.74 million people were living in single-person households in the United States.”
Being alone does not necessarily equal sadness.
In fact, for those people who can grasp the power of being by themselves, being alone can equal complete happiness and satisfaction.
In the end, happiness and joy are not given to us by anything or anyone outside of ourselves, but in fact, it’s a state of mind that comes from within each of us.
It comes from your heart, your soul, and your thoughts.
The truth is that being single or being alone, with no friends around you can present you with a potentially huge opportunity.
This state will allow you to dig deeper into your own life and find out precisely what makes you tick and truly makes you happy.
Even if you have had significant relationships in the past, you probably realize looking back that in the end, no one can make you truly happy.
You might also like to check out our post on how to live with more happiness and joy. It’s a great read for those that have lots of family and friends around too.
The secret to being alone and being happy is first to understand how to find happiness within yourself, and then you won’t look for happiness from someone else.
You’ll be perfectly capable of being happy alone, and you won’t let other people or their failures bring you down.
Instead, you’ll be able to be a real help to those around you, and you’ll be able to raise them up and help them soar like eagles.
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The Importance of Self-Sufficiency
You can be incredibly happy, even if you are all alone, once you understand that you’re just fine all by yourself.
You will find that you don’t need anyone or anything else outside of yourself to create a vibrant life for yourself that is filled with joy.
If you have some form of spirituality that you are involved with, then you can remember that you are now and will always be a child of God.
This spiritual connection that you have built will give you the confidence and the understanding that alone you are a very capable and strong individual.
You also know because of this spiritual connection that you are never ever really alone.
Because of this connection, you also know that you are much more relevant and important than those around you who may have attempted to make you believe.
In the end, it all comes down to a choice. A choice that you need to make on a daily basis.
This is the choice to believe that you are genuinely perfect all by yourself regardless of whether you are surrounded by loved ones or lots of friends or all alone.
You can be amazing all by yourself, and you don’t need anyone else to make you happy.
“Happy is the soul that has something to look backward to with pride, and something to look forward to with hope.”
Oliver G. Wilson
Asking yourself for advice
The secret to being happy by yourself is to put more value on your own opinion than on other people’s opinions and viewpoints.
It’s not the best idea to ask for advice from others unless you really need it and then certainly the council of others can be very helpful.
However, even then, consider your own personal thoughts and opinion as being equal to anyone else’s, if not more important than the information you receive from others.
In any crossroads that you find yourself in life, you alone will need to choose the right way forward and you alone, in the end, are responsible for your own happiness.
When you reach a point where you trust your own judgment, and you believe that you can make any complex decisions necessary by and for yourself, you’ll become a much richer and happier person with the choices, you’ve had to make.
You’ll become a stronger and more confident individual and you will also be able to become a better mentor for others.
You will learn to live without regret.
Asking yourself for advice also means that you will need to learn how to talk to yourself. We all have that inner voice that talks to us throughout the day.
While it’s easy to ignore that inner voice when you are part of a large group of co-workers or circle of friends, it’s quite challenging to ignore that inner voice when you are alone and on your own.
You might also like our post on how to make new friends and keep your old friends close.
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If you want to become happier while being alone, you need to start learning how to practice self-love.
The moment when you stop looking for happiness from others, you’ll finally realize that you can be a much happier person when you are all by yourself and alone.
To practice self-love, stop valuing what others believe about you. Accept that you are fairly normal in most areas of life and extraordinary in other areas.
Become more mindful about yourself and your needs and realize that you are a very complex and beautiful human being.
You will find through self-reflection when you are all alone that you have gifts and talents that a lot of other people simply don’t have.
You will recognize the unique and very special person that you are.
A great way to practice self-love is to reward yourself from time to time. Go out to a fabulous restaurant and order the best steak on the menu.
Go shopping for yourself and buy yourself that terrific dress or suit that you’ve been thinking about for a long while.
Take a few extra days off from work and walk around in your neighborhood and get to know your neighbors.
No matter what may have happened in the past that brought you any pain, hardship, or emotional turmoil, you get a fresh start each and every day.
The first step on that journey is fully loving yourself and knowing who you are and what you need as you chart that new course in your life.
You can learn all this from being alone with yourself.
Staying Healthy & Happy
Ultimately, you will become happier while being alone by capitalizing on the benefits of creating a healthy lifestyle for yourself.
Go join the gym or start riding that bike you have that has been sitting out in the shed and reconnect with yourself at a physical level.
Start eating healthier food and make a point of cooking for yourself more often.
Learn to prepare those favorite dishes of yours that your mother used to make for you.
Go for a run or a walk in the morning or at night and notice the difference that even just a little exercise can make.
You know you will feel better, be happier, and you’ll also start to give more value to yourself simply for the effort.
Learning how better to love and care for yourself will better prepare you for the love and care that you will need to give to others when you are no longer alone.
Learning to become more comfortable happier and at peace with yourself and your life when you are alone is the greatest gift that you can give yourself.
The Bottom Line
This year is your year to become truly content and happy with yourself and learn to become your best friend.
You can learn that being alone and being happy can go hand in hand if you learn how to practice self-love, stay healthy, ask yourself for advice, and understand the value of self-sufficiency.
Claire Law is a UK-based Counsellor and Psychotherapist from Preston, Northern England. Claire became a therapist after a career of almost two decades of High School teaching experience. She’s also worked extensively in the Social Care and Charity Sectors, and as a Mental Health Advisor in Higher Education. Claire combines her current Psychotherapy practice with freelance writing on Mental Health, Wellbeing and Psychology topics. She has a passion for Social Justice and environmental causes.
Claire holds a degree from Nottingham University, a Post Graduate Certificate in Education from Leeds Trinity University College and a Post Graduate Diploma in Integrative Psychotherapy from the University of Central Lancashire. She’s completed a wide range of extensive training and certifications in Domestic Abuse, Survivors of Sexual Abuse & Sexual Violence, Suicide and Self-Harm, Expressive Arts Therapy, Gender Variance, Online and Telephone Counselling and Polyvagal Regulation developed by Stephen Porges, a professor of psychiatry at the University of North Carolina and “Distinguished University Scientist” at Indiana University.