Accepting That No One Is Perfect, Not Even You
Indeed, no one is perfect, and perfection is an elusive goal that many of us strive for in society today. This includes not only physical appearance but also our professional success, relationships, and even parenting skills. It’s often difficult to find happiness when we hold ourselves up to these impossible standards. Therefore, it’s essential to accept that no one is perfect, including yourself. What is it that makes us feel this way? Why do we find it so hard to be accepting of one another and ourselves?
M.Ward – November 13, 2021
“No one is perfect. We’re all just one step up from the beasts and one step down from the angles.” ~ Jeannette Walls
The Need for Perfection and Approval
No one is perfect, though; we all strive to be perfect somehow. But that doesn’t mean we can’t be proud of ourselves for something good or something we’ve achieved.
It’s natural for people to want to be liked by their peers, loved, and appreciated by their partners, and maybe even have some friends that think they are the cat’s meow.
It feels good to feel appreciated, but don’t let that control your life. In reality, no one is or will ever be able to attain perfection.
An article on the UPMC health beat website, How Perfectionism is Linked to Anxiety and Mental Health, describes that perfectionism may be hard-wired in us as children.
“According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, perfectionism may be hard-wired in your system. Moreover, this inborn trait appears to influence the way an individual sees the world.”
We all have flaws, imperfections, little quirks, and eccentricities that make us who we are.
“Life is not about the destination, it’s about the journey.”
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Striving for Perfection is a Waste of Time
Absolute perfection is an unattainable goal. Perfectionism often results in feelings of frustration, isolation, stress anxiety, and low self-worth.
Nobody is perfect, nor will anyone ever become perfect. Better yes, but perfect, no, never going to happen.
The key is to be satisfied with the things we are given and attain as part of our journey in life.
If we constantly strive to better ourselves, we can enjoy our journey towards whatever version of perfection for our futures that we might in vision.
Instead of looking for someone else to decide that “you’re good enough,” you need to accept and determine for yourself that you are.
In her article, Why Some People Crave Perfection on the Health Central website, Anne Windermere writes about her anxiety about pursuing perfection.
“There is that competing voice in my head saying, “You can do better” or “You are not doing enough.” I have the feeling that I am not alone in my anxiety over the pursuit of perfection.”
Stop trying to live up to unrealistic, perfection-oriented standards, whether that vision of you is in your mind or someone else’s.
Take stock of all the outstanding positive aspects you know to be true about yourself and use that version of you to counter any negative thoughts about your shortcomings, which by the way, everyone has.
Everyone has an “ideal” or “perfect” version of themselves that they might hope to create or achieve.
However, the version of ourselves that is the real, authentic, imperfect version is the one that everyone knows and loves about us.
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Find Happiness in What You Can Control
Your happiness is in your own hands whether you recognize and accept that to be true or not.
While some things can’t be changed, you can choose how you respond or react to the constantly changing circumstances in your life.
Learning to take control of the vision you have of yourself and countering the limiting negative thoughts about yourself with positive ones is the key to overcoming feeling less than perfect.
If you’re always blaming other people and circumstances for your problems, you’ll have difficulty managing the overall view of your life as a good one.
A content, peaceful and happy life always comes from the inside out, not the outside in.
It’s easy to understand why we might have an upside-down vision of ourselves, in not having a perfect life, the perfect home, the perfect marriage, the perfect body, or perfect profession.
We’re bombarded with perfected media images of all these kinds of things 24/7, 365 days a year.
Social media and TV ads are all designed and created to make us believe that we need and pay for to become more prosperous, better looking, more attainable, healthier, etc
No wonder it’s easy for all of us to think we’re less than perfect, most of the time.
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Listen to Your Inner Voice
There are times when we forget to be honest with ourselves and to listen to our true feelings.
When we constantly focus on what we think we should be doing, we forget to listen to what our true selves are trying to tell us. Instead of trying to compare yourself with celebrities or media icons, do what makes you happy.
If you want to be healthier, start eating higher quality food and start an exercise program.
If your goal is to lose weight, don’t try to be a specific size. Instead, focus more on gaining strength and being healthy.
Appreciate Who You Are
We all have flaws and imperfections.
Trying to mask or cover up these parts of ourselves only causes us to feel anxious.
Instead, it’s critical to accept them and focus on the positive traits you like about yourself and counter the negative ones.
This will help you feel empowered to build an overall better self-image.
“One of the basic rules of the universe is that nothing is perfect. Perfection simply does not exist. Without imperfection neither you nor I would exist.” – Stephen Hawking
Embrace Your Imperfections
The media and magazines reflect an ideal image of how everyone should look. They try to suggest that this is the norm, but this is false.
People come in all shapes and sizes, and beauty is not limited to one particular thing, and it’s our differences that make us unique.
Embracing your imperfections is better than trying to live up to unreasonable expectations.
In her article on Psychologytoday.com, Sharon Martin, LCSW, writes about not falling into the “compare and despair“ trap:
“The problem isn’t that we’re imperfect. The problem is we think that other people aren’t; we think they’re living perfect (or nearly perfect) lives.”
In the last few years, the concept of beauty has changed significantly. Models don’t have to be super skinny; they don’t have to be 5 foot 7, and they don’t have a certain look – all women are beautiful in their own right.
No one is perfect. Not the models you see in magazines, your favorite movie stars, or media personalities.
They all have things about themselves that they dislike or wish they could change. That might be hard to comprehend, but it is true.
Starting to change our perception of the images we see of other people and their lives as being perfect or “better than ours” is how we begin to change the perception of our own lives for the better.
We can begin to recognize and accept the more positive aspects that exist in our lives.
A Spiritual View of Perfection
Yes, from a spiritual perception, or in God’s eyes, if you will, you are indeed perfect, and as well, we all are.
From a spiritual or universal perspective, all is right in the world.
In his book: How To Know God, Deepak Chopra writes about a “wealthy and privileged society” with “rampant addictions,” and he describes one for those that “crave perfection.”
“The last addiction has taken secular form in people who crave the perfect family, the perfect home, the perfect career”…” They do not even see the irony that such “perfection” is dead”…” there is a corresponding spiritual state, however, that aims to please God through a life that has no blemish whatever.” ~ Deepak Chopra
Endeavoring into the spiritual realm can help you reframe an imperfect vision of yourself into a form where you are perfect, and that’s a good thing to know and to feel.
In God’s eyes, your heart and your soul are pure. But the human mind is clouded with un-real versions we hold of ourselves, the world, and our place in it.
The human mind or the ego will always want you to feel “less than perfect.”
Connect with yourself regularly from a spiritual perspective, and a perspective of gratitude, through meditation or prayer, or both.
Learning to accept your life as it is now, will help erode the need to be perfect in your eyes, and the eye’s of the world.
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The Story of the Lotus
The Lotus is a magical flower, and it is beautiful, but it grows in less than ideal conditions.
It only grows in muddy areas, and its roots are several feet under the water. Every morning it reaches up through the water to find the sunshine in order to bloom.
Looking at this flower, you would never know what it has gone through to be where it is.
The Lotus offers wisdom – to grow as a person and gain wisdom, you must suffer a little mud (the obstacles in life).
Often in our busy lives, we overlook even our smallest of achievements.
Focus on the things you can change and strive to be the best version of yourself that you can be.
Invent your own signature look, get creative with your clothing and hairstyles to make you happy, not to look like someone else.
There are many ways to achieve personal happiness and success.
It’s essential to determine what is of importance to you and find new ways to achieve those goals in the ways that work best for you.
We all want to be respected, loved, appreciated, and happy.
Though, seeking perfection in our lives, professions, and in others, is simply never going to get us there.
Reaching for excellence and striving always to be better than before is a perfect goal to set, as we all should endeavor to do.
However, in a world that’s filled with images of people who appear to have, perfect bodies, perfect cars, perfect houses, and perfect lives, trying to be perfect will overshadow the true perfection of who you already are.
The attempt to be perfect leaves us with a false sense of our own lives and ourselves.
It is an unreal view of the real and magnificent, and beautiful lives we already have.
“It is our very search for perfection outside of ourselves that causes suffering.” – Buddha