Loving The Wrong Person | Are You doing it Again?

Loving the wrong person doesn’t come as much of a surprise to us when we finally get it. Because we know it right from the start, it’s amazing how we know they’re not suitable for us after just spending a few minutes with them. But still, we’ll do it anyway.

Falling in lust is easy and loving the wrong person is too. Finding and falling in love with the right person, well, not so easy. If you listen to your gut and your subconscious, they will tell you exactly what you should do when you begin to fall in love with the wrong person. But, will you listen?

 M. Ward / November 16, 2020

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girl against a wall outdoors simply loving the wrong person who becomes a bad boyfriend

 “Love does not die easily. It is a living thing. It thrives in the face of all life’s hazards, save one – neglect.”
James D. Bryden
1863 – 1938

 

Loving the wrong person, and you know it.

Fuzzy feelings and butterflies. The urge to constantly look at your phone, hoping to see their name appear on the screen. We all know how loving someone and being loved feels.

And you hear your gut telling you that this person is not the one for you. Your subconscious may even be screaming at you. Run!

Still, you pay little or no attention.

This kind of self-denial doesn’t only relate to the romantic connections you make; it can be love that you feel for a friend or a family member.

You know, in your heart, who you genuinely love, and who you love to spend time with, and who you don’t.

This post focuses on romantic love, even for someone unrelated to you but has shown you great kindness.

Love is a beautiful feeling that makes us understand what life offers and why life is worth living.

Feeling attached deeply to another person is a feeling like no other. Yet, we can sometimes fall into the trap of loving the wrong person, even if it feels so right.

And as you probably know, you may be doing it again, and it might end up badly as it has in the past. If you don’t listen to what your gut and heart tell you, pull the ripcord. 

“It is difficult to know at what moment love begins;
 it is less difficult to know that it has begun.”

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
1807 – 1882

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Your Core Values Do Not Align

We know the heart wants what it wants, which may explain why we sometimes fall in love with the wrong people who are simply not suitable for us.

Perhaps we know that the person we’re in love with is a fantastic person, but deep down, we know that it’s not a relationship that can last.

Maybe they would like to have children, perhaps even a lot of children and the idea of having several mini versions of yourself running around is not one you imagine.

You may otherwise be a very emotional and supportive person, while they are not. Or, maybe you put a lot of importance on your religion, and your partner does not respect it.

When these core values aren’t in line with one another, you may feel that ping of pain telling you this just isn’t going to work.

In love with the idea of a person

You may realize that you are in love with the wrong person because you are in love with a version of them that is simply impossible for them to achieve.

Or a version of themselves that is your ideal, and yet not the reality.

For example, perhaps you constantly bring up small things that need to change to feel more comfortable or happier in the relationship, yet nothing changes.

You may be in a relationship with someone whose schedule doesn’t match yours, no matter how frustrating it can be.

Another sign may be that you’re giving up some good habits for them once you are in a relationship. It’s time for you to learn how to say no.

“Love is the strange bewilderment which over-takes one person on account of another person.”
James Thurber 1884 – 1961 & E.B White 1899 – 1985

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Getting Past loving the wrong person

 So, what can you do? Because loving the wrong person can be frustrating, complicated, and exhausting.

It may feel easier to simply stay in the relationship not to rock the boat too much – after all, it feels better to be with someone than alone, right? And this way, you can also avoid heartbreak, right? Wrong!

Staying with and loving the wrong person will only hold you back from meeting the right person. That right person is waiting for you to appear in their life.

When you stay in a relationship with someone who isn’t right for you, the result is that you are with someone that cannot provide you with the things you need.

It leads to self-doubt, makes you more self-conscious about who you are and why this relationship is not working out as expected.

It pushes down and hides parts of yourself to meet the expectations your loved one has for you.

This kind of relationship isn’t what you deserve – you deserve to find the right person for you.

You deserve to love someone you don’t want to spend a minute without, someone with who you want to share your life!

But for that, you need to acknowledge that you are, indeed, in love with the wrong person.

In Conclusion:

Listen to what your gut feelings or your subconscious are telling you. Don’t fall in love and end up loving the wrong person all over again and again and again.

You deserve a person who loves you as much as you love them. Believe that you will find that equally devoted partner for yourself. They are out there somewhere.

One that will go to the end of the world for you, as you would do for them.

“Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.”
Robert Frost
1874 – 1963

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