Learning How To Carry Yourself With Confidence (The Truth)

It shouldn’t be surprising that one of the best ways to learn how to carry yourself with confidence is by watching other confident people.

However, you’re most likely going through your life with a lack of confidence because you’ve learned to listen and accept the negative thoughts about yourself that are repeating on a loop in your head. 

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group of very confident individuals looking at us

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” 
– Elleanor Roosevelt

 

Martin Ward / August 19, 2022

How to Cary Yourself with Confidence

Your negative thinking can keep you from even making eye contact with the confident people you might meet who show you what real confidence looks like. 

The good thing is that confident people are walking into our lives constantly. 

So we always get another chance to observe and learn from them daily.

However, the key to confidently carrying yourself is not found on any list of posture-related suggestions you may find on the web.

That may be only a quick fix to what is a long-term problem.

And you are not searching the web just to end up here for a quick fix.

Confidence is based on your belief system and you need to learn to overcome the negative thinking patterns that create and maintain your low levels of self-esteem and low confidence.

So read on, because you need to learn how to become your own best friend and remind yourself who you really are when you’re uncertain.

Build Confidence By Recognizing Your Own Accomplishments

Building confidence and maintaining it, and then being able to walk through your life with confidence will never happen for you if you don’t know why you should be confident.

Let me explain.

In their book, Think Confidence, Be Confident For Teens. A Cognitive therapy guide to overcoming self-doubt and creating unshakable self-esteem, Marci G Fox Ph.D. and Leslie Sokol Ph.D., point out in their intro; 

“Confidence is one of the keys to success. If you have confidence, it means you believe in yourself, you know you have brains, skills, talent, and know-how to get what you need and to handle whatever life throws at you.”

This is what we are talking about in this post.

However, most of us forget about all the accomplishments and skills we have developed in our lives. 

When you are able to regularly recognize and affirm your own past achievements and your well-learned life skills, the big impact and powerful effect your own positive affirmations can have on you are unparalleled in building your level of confidence and self-esteem.

Confident people walk with confidence.

People lacking confidence generally don’t carry themselves with confidence. 

This is how real self-confidence is built and, more importantly, where it is found.

Recognizing who “the real you is” and not the “imposter” your negative mind will continue to try to confirm to you that you are is the key to confidence. 

Finding self-confidence and overcoming self-doubt

Let’s get to work by answering some questions and finding the confident person you are.

These are only some sample questions that can have several answers. 

You should write your answers down on a piece of paper from a legal pad, and keep them with you wherever you go.

You need to read them when you need to reset your mind from the negative you to the real positive, capable, experienced you.

These questions should create several good answers for you to put in your self-affirmation list.

  1. What are you good at? Example: I’m a great hairdresser, I’m a great carpenter, or I’m a great conversationalist.

  2. What are some of the talents you have that you use daily? Example: I’m a great driver, a great cook, and a great friend.

  3. What are some of the weak points or personal traits you have been working to overcome? Example: A more healthy diet. Working out more often, etc.

  4. What are some goals that you’ve accomplished? Example: You graduated high school, got your GED, completed a business course, or completed a marathon.

  5. What situations or activities did you participate in that moved you out of your comfort zone? Example: Asked someone on a date, had an in-person interview for a job, went out to a nightclub, alone, to hear some music.

  6. What are some life or work experiences in which you experienced a positive outcome? Example: Participated in trivia team and won a title. or you overhauled an engine with a friend.

  7. What have you done where you’ve gotten positive feedback? Example: You were chosen the employee of the month, you were awarded an improved sales level bonus at work, or you had a positive article about you in the local paper.

  8. When was the first time you felt that you’d really accomplished something? Example: Becoming a parent, retiring after many years at work, closing a business deal, helping a friend in need. 

Also, list some important things you’ve done or been a part of that have turned out in some great way. Example: Local environmental fundraiser raising thousands of dollars. Comments you gave at a meeting changed the direction or outcome.

These are only a few of the kinds of questions you need to begin to ask yourself so you can start bringing the real you out into the open.

When you start affirming, and regularly recognizing the extraordinary and amazing things that you’ve done in your life already, you begin to create new confidence levels inside of yourself.

This new belief in yourself will allow you to outwardly carry yourself with confidence the next time you walk into a room, and you’ll make a better first impression.

Good posture is important and, as you’ll see when watching other confident people, is why they are generally good communicators.

 “With realization of one’s own potential and self-confidence in one’s ability, one can build a better world.” – The Dalai Lama.

How To Appear Confident 

Again, appearing confident or carrying yourself with confidence, whether at a restaurant or in a business meeting, is not accomplished by creating a false persona or pretending to be someone you’re not.

You can find lots of information on the web like how-to lists that tell you several things you need to do or you should do, or even not do, so you can appear confident.

These lists might include things like not using curse words, needing to stand up straight, standing tall, or leaning forward and into the conversation.

Or they will tell you to make better eye contact, engage in more active listening, take deep breaths, get a new outfit, try a new tone of voice, and always have a few interesting points or bits to break the ice. On and on and on.

However, confident people do these things anyway.

And not because they are trying to be something or someone they are not but because they know who they are.

They have learned to ignore their repetitive negative thoughts and limiting beliefs and listen to the positive self-talk they know to be true.

This positive self-talk reassures them of who they are, what they’ve been through in life, overcoming hardships and difficulties, and knowing where they want to go.

When you learn to think of yourself in a more positive light and hold a more positive image of yourself, you can relax into who you really are and not worry about what other people think or say about you.

And when you do, you will begin to carry yourself more confidently and hold your head high while you walk into any room.

“If you hear a voice within you say’ you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.”
~ Vincent Van Gogh

How To Carry Yourself With Dignity

Carrying yourself with dignity is accomplished by having, or regaining a higher level of respect and belief in yourself.

This can be harder to do if you’ve been through a tough road in your life. You may have had bad experiences with the law, family, or relationships.

Having dignity in oneself only comes when one takes full responsibility for themselves, their shortcomings or mistakes, as well as acknowledging all the positive qualities each of us has within ourselves.

No matter what kind of life challenges you’ve had to get through or overcome, today is a brand-new day.

“The past is history, the future is a mystery, and this moment is a gift. That is why this moment is called ‘the present.”
~ Depak Chopra

We get a chance to reset, rebuild, and restart each day of our lives.

Even if you just walked out of a prison today, or a bad relationship, or a job that felt like a prison, every day is a first step towards becoming the new you.

And you can put the past and all that bad stuff behind you.

Even if the world might think less of you because of whatever modern social sentiments have come to the fore, you can recognize that you have taken responsibility for yourself.

You’ve paid the price, your paid your debt to society.

It’s time for you to move on and into your life’s new challenges with more knowledge and experience, making significant and positive changes for the life ahead.

Accept that you’ve taken responsibility for yourself and decided to move forward in your own life for a better tomorrow.

You’ve committed yourself and decided that you will learn and develop good habits daily instead of falling into the same trap brought on by those bad habits you’ve tried to shed throughout your lifetime.

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”
­­~
 Bernard Baruch

How To Make A Great Impression

The first thing you need to do when wanting to make a great impression on others in any social situation is to simply relax and be your true self.

The positive message this sends to others is that you do not require or need anything to be happy or OK.

You can take care of yourself. You are capable of handling new environments and experiencing new things.

Many people will go into a room full of different people and look for someone to help them feel comfortable.

You are comfortable in yourself; this energy tells others not to worry about you.

This is what charisma is.

Frank Sinatra didn’t think about what other people thought about him when he walked into a room.

And you don’t have to be Frank Sinatra to carry yourself with confidence and not think about the way others feel about you.

It would help if you simply learned to be comfortable in your own skin.

 “Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Conclusion 

You are always going to have some self-doubt or uncertainty about your abilities.

The problem is that most of us experience some lack of confidence, lack of self-esteem, or self-image on a regular basis, and that’s the problem.

A negative self-image, a lack of confidence, or low self-esteem will continue to grow if you let it and if you do not counter negative beliefs with positive affirmations about yourself.

The only way you can do that is to know, understand and believe what those positive affirmations are for you.

Other people can tell you what is good or great about you.

However, the only way that you’re going to ever carry yourself with confidence is to know what self-confidence means, and become a confident person, is if you know and believe what those great, fabulous, fantastic, and amazing things about yourself are. 

You can’t go through life hoping that other people will tell you that you are great to build self-confidence.

You’ve got to do that yourself. You’ve got to tell yourself that you are great. 

So, sit down and make your list, and make it a long list, of every single positive aspect about yourself that you can come up with. Everything!!

Then you need to read that long list to yourself whenever you have any doubts about who you are and what you can do. 

Begin to know and believe in your extraordinary self! 

Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.
~ Mahatma Ganhdi

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Martin (Marty) Ward

My Name is Marty Ward and I’m the creator and publisher of the 1-Vibrant-Life blog.

On March 8th, 1984, I sustained a traumatic brain injury in a car accident while I was driving to my day job.

At the time of the accident, I was having a fairly successful life as a musician in Chicago, which had included a recent appearance on Star Search 84′ with Ed McMahon and preparing to be included in the group’s major independent recording contract. 

However, after my accident, I was unable to perform or play my instrument. I was out of work and I had lost all confidence in myself and my abilities, felt lost and with no direction. 

My injury and my recovery led me down a path of self-improvement, and self-discovery which gave me my life back filled with many amazing experiences and a newfound sense of hope. Learn more about my story on the 1-vibrant-life about page. 

CBTCP Certification (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Certified Practitioner) | 10-16-2021  Certification From The Academy of Modern Applied Psychology, in The Transformative Science of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, CBT