Learning How To Carry Yourself With Confidence (The Truth)

It shouldn’t be surprising that one of the best ways to learn how to carry yourself with confidence is by watching other confident people. However, you’re most likely going through your life with a lack of confidence because you’ve learned to listen and accept the negative thoughts about yourself that are repeating on a loop in your head. 

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Table of Contents

group of very confident individuals looking at us

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” 
– Elleanor Roosevelt

 

Martin Ward / August 19, 2022

How to Cary Yourself with Confidence

Your negative thinking will keep you from making eye contact with confident people you see or meet who show us what real confidence looks like. 

The good thing is that confident people are walking into our lives constantly, so we always get another chance to observe and learn from them daily.

However, the key to learning how to confidently carry yourself through your life can not be found in a list of posture-related suggestions.

That may be a quick fix to a long-term problem, and you are not searching the web to end up here for a quick fix. No, it would help if you had a solution that would last for you.

Confidence is based on your belief system and overcoming the negative thinking patterns that create and maintain your low levels of self-esteem and low confidence, so read on.

It would help if you learned to become your own best friend.

Build Confidence By Recognizing Your Own Accomplishments

Building confidence and maintaining it, and then being able to walk through life with confidence will never happen for you if you don’t know why you should be confident.

Let me explain.

In their book, Think Confidence, Be Confident For Teens. A Cognitive therapy guide to overcoming self-doubt and creating unshakable self-esteem, Marci G Fox Ph.D. and Leslie Sokol Ph.D., point out in their intro,  “Confidence is one of the keys to success. If you have confidence, it means you believe in yourself-you know you have brains, skills, talent, and know-how to get what you need and to handle whatever life throws at you.”

This is what we are talking about here in the article. However, most of us forget all the accomplishments and skills we have developed in our lives.

Regularly recognizing and affirming your accomplishments and your well-learned life skills is an unparalleled methodology when it comes to learning to build or rebuild your level of confidence and self-esteem.

Confident people walk with confidence. People lacking confidence generally don’t carry themselves with confidence.

This is how real self-confidence is built and, more importantly, where it is found. 

Recognizing who the real you is and not that imposter your negative mind will continue to try to confirm to you that you are.

Finding self-confidence and overcoming self-doubt

Let’s get to work by answering some questions and finding the confident person you are.

These sample questions can and most often have several answers.

You should write your answers down on a legal pad, keep them with you, and read them when you need to reset your mind from the negative you to the real positive, capable, experienced you.

These questions should create several good answers for you to put in your self-affirmation list.

  1. What are you good at? Example: I’m a great hairdresser, I’m a great carpenter, I’m a good conversationalist

  2. What are some of the talents you have that you use daily? Example: I’m a great driver, a great list maker, a great friend, etc.

  3. What are some of the weak points or personal traits you have been working to overcome? Example: A more healthy diet. Working out more often, etc.

  4. What are some goals that you’ve accomplished? Example: graduated high school, Got your GED, Completed a course. Ran a marathon

  5. What situations or activities did you participate in that moved you out of your comfort zone? Example: Asked someone on a date. In-person job interview

  6. What are some life or work experiences in which you experienced a positive outcome? Example: Trivia team won a title. Overhauled an engine with a friend.

  7. What have you done where you’ve gotten positive feedback? Example: Chosen Employee of the month. Awarded a bonus at work. Positive Article about you in the local paper.

  8. When was the first time you felt that you’d really accomplished something? Example: Becoming a parent. Retiring after many years at work. Closing a business deal. Helping a friend in need.

Also, list some important things you’ve done or been a part of that have turned out in some great way. Example: Local environmental fundraiser raising thousands of dollars. Comments given at a meeting changed the direction or outcome.

These are only a few questions you need to begin to ask yourself so you can start bringing the real you out into the open.

When you start affirming and regularly recognizing your extraordinary self or the amazing things you’ve done in your life already, you create the confidence levels inside of yourself that allow you to outwardly carry yourself with confidence the next time you walk into any room, making a good first impression.

Good posture is important and, as you’ll see when watching other confident people, is why they are generally good communicators.

 “With realization of one’s own potential and self-confidence in one’s ability, one can build a better world.” – The Dalai Lama.

How To Appear Confident 

Again, appearing confident or carrying yourself with confidence, whether at a restaurant or a business meeting, is not accomplished by creating a false persona or pretending to be someone you’re not.

You can find lots of information on the web, a list of how-to lists that tell you several things you need to do or not do to appear confident.

These lists might include things like not using curse words, needing to stand up straight, standing tall or leaning forward and into the conversation, making better eye contact, active listening, taking deep breaths, getting a new outfit, trying a new tone of voice, and always having a few interesting points or bits to break the ice.

On and on and on.

However, confident people do these things anyway.

And not because they are trying to be something or someone they are not but because they know who they are.

They have learned to ignore their repetitive negative thoughts and limiting beliefs and listen to the positive self-talk they know to be true and reassures them of who they are, what they’ve been through in life, overcome hardships and difficulties, and where they want to go.

When you learn to think of yourself in a more positive light and hold a more positive image of yourself, you can relax into who you really are and not worry about what other people think or say about you.

And when you do, you will become as confident as any person in the room, if not the most confident.

“If you hear a voice within you say’ you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.”
~ Vincent Van Gogh

How To Carry Yourself With Dignity

Carrying yourself with dignity is accomplished by having or regaining a higher level of respect for yourself.

This can be a bit harder to do if you’ve been through a tough life road in your life. You may have had bad experiences with the law, family, or relationships.

Having dignity in oneself only comes when one takes full responsibility for themselves and their shortcomings or mistakes, as well as all the positive things each of us has within ourselves.

No matter what kind of life’s challenges you’ve had to get through or overcome, however, today is a brand-new day. You can start over again and become the best you can be.

“The past is history, the future is a mystery, and this moment is a gift. That is why this moment is called ‘the present.” ~ Depak Chopra

We get a chance to rest each day of our lives.

Even if you walked out of prison today, or the relationship or the job that felt like a prison, every day is a first step towards becoming the new you, and you can put the past and all that bad stuff behind you.

Even if the world thinks less of you because of whatever modern sentiments have come to the fore in society, you can recognize that you have taken responsibility.

You’ve paid the price, your debt to society, and it’s time for you to move on to life’s new challenges with more knowledge and experience to make significant changes in your life.

Accept that you’ve taken responsibility for yourself and decided to move forward in your own life for the better.

You’ve committed yourself and decided that you will learn and develop good habits daily instead of falling into the same trap brought on by those bad habits you’ve tried to shed throughout your lifetime.

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” ­­~ Bernard Baruch

How To Make A Great Impression

The first thing you need to do when wanting to make a great impression on others in any social situation is to simply relax and be your true self.

The positive message this sends to others is that you do not require or need anything to be happy or OK and can take care of yourself. You are capable of handling new environments and experiencing new things.

Many people will go into a room full of different people and look for someone to help them feel comfortable. You are comfortable in yourself; this energy tells others not to worry about you.

This is what charisma is. Frank Sinatra didn’t think about what other people thought about him when he walked into a room.

And you don’t have to be Frank Sinatra to carry yourself with confidence and not think about the way others feel about you.

It would help if you simply learned to be comfortable in your own skin.

 “Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Martin (Marty) Ward

My Name is Marty Ward and I’m the creator and publisher of the 1-Vibrant-Life blog.

On March 8th, 1984, I sustained a traumatic brain injury in a car accident while I was driving to my day job.

At the time of the accident, I was having a fairly successful life as a musician in Chicago, which had included a recent appearance on Star Search 84′ with Ed McMahon and preparing to be included in the group’s major independent recording contract. 

However, after my accident, I was unable to perform or play my instrument. I was out of work and I had lost all confidence in myself and my abilities, felt lost and with no direction. 

My injury and my recovery led me down a path of self-improvement, and self-discovery which gave me my life back filled with many amazing experiences and a newfound sense of hope. Learn more about my story on the 1-vibrant-life about page. 

CBTCP Certification (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Certified Practitioner) | 10-16-2021  Certification From The Academy of Modern Applied Psychology, in The Transformative Science of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, CBT